I've been thinking a lot and I came to conclusion that I want to feel that butterfly feeling. Yes, maybe I am being delusional about this but remember the last time you had a crush on someone? And how it made you feel? The adrenaline, the butterflies, and the giggles. Well, yesterday my cousin went out with his friend to the mall and from the moment I saw them together I knew she had a thing for him. Obviously I made him tell me everything and apparently he wanted to meet up because he was going to give her a gift, then he also began to tell me about the moves she made, which left me wondering how blind my cousin was being. He's so afraid that she might not like him that he doesn’t see the fact that she's trying to make it obvious that she does. Guys, she did the "feel how cold my hands are" move, if that isn't obvious I don't know what else is.
This whole situation left me thinking how cute it is when two people like each other. They are both so caught up in one another that they don't see all the signs that point them to being together. All these gooy feelings are also so wholesome, the way one thinks about the other person all the time, like when they see something that reminds them of that person, or when they are waiting for them to text first. I haven't felt this way for someone in a long time, and it makes me a little sad because I feel like love is all around me. During my time at the mall all I could see were couples EVERWHERE. I am being dead serious, everywhere I turned I would see two people either holding hands, nose to nose, or staring into each others eyes. It made me want to be able to experience that with someone I like. But it's not like I want to be in a relationship, it's more like I want to have that certain person that makes me feel that butterfly feeling. Having someone who I can share my mind with and will still understand. That person who will be willing to live life to its fullest with me. But the thing is I don't want it to be just anyone, I want it to be someone special. At the same time I did tell myself that this year I would focus on myself... but this is besides that point. I guess what I am trying to say is I want to feel that kind of love again, that movie feeling, and I don't care if anyone out there says that life isn't a movie because sometimes to get through life we have to romanticize it. I am about to be fifteen years old and I think I should be able to live my life like one, meaning not be so worried about situations that I will deal with when I am older. So yes, let me be a little delusional with this topic. Or maybe I should just stick to people watching?
Anyways, as much as I am talking about this we all know that everything comes at it's own time so if right now that's not happening then it isn't the right time. But one day it will happen and it will happen for a reason. I love you all so much, I hope you enjoyed my little love rant.
Bye Bye
XoXo, Maria E.V
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